By your side
by MasterYu
Summary: He found me when I was helpless, weak and lost. He taught me how to believe in myself and how to be confident. He protected me and I was always beside him. He changed my whole life and yet I still sometimes felt like I could never reach out to him. [ Levi x OC]
1. Chapter 1

My body couldn't help but shiver when I opened my eyes, expecting to see something. But what did I even expect to see? The so called blue sky, covered by many white clouds? Or the sun that would light the whole land with her rays?

No.

The only thing I saw was black. No surprise. That was the Underground after all. A sole hell where people like me could only survive through stealing and killing. And I, who's been born in this disgusting place never stealed something. Neither killed someone. I was too weak. Maybe this was the reason why I was about to die.

I already gave up my life since a long time. Now that I actually thought about my darn life, I must realize that I never really cherished something or experienced the whole feeling of happiness. I never had someone beside me. And parents? Neither them. At least, I couldn't remember them. Either they died after my birth or they left me. Strangely enough, I never held a grudge against them or ever had the desire to see them. The only thing they left behind was my name. And the one who raised me was a stupid old crock. If you could call daily abusing as raising in general. At least, I was fed and had a place to sleep - the floor.

In the end, he just wanted to sell me out to other men when I'm old enough in order to please them. That was the only reason he kept me. According to him, even a lot of men had a need for some fun in the Underground and with my appearance it would be a cinch. The main point was to get a big amount of money. Mercenary bastard. He disgusted the hell out of me.

Time has came. At the age of fifteen, I was supposed to have my first client. On the way to his client he soliloquized about how much money he could achieve with me. I tuned him out and kept on thinking to find a way to escape. But there was no way out.

I darted my eyes on everywhere. My heart kept racing in fear and I went literally crazy inside, in panic. I often asked myself, how scum like him could even exist. If I just had more power, he probably would be died by now. I wouldn't bat an eye to kill him for myself if it meant to finally get my freedom.

But on that day, luck seemed to be on my side for once. As he continued to talk about his money, we were suddenly attacked. Or rather him. They didn't considered me for one bit. Shattered I just watched how he was attacked by severely guys. He yelled at me for help. But of course I opposed and took this chance to escape. I ran and ran as far as I could, glad that nobody chased after me.

Now I was here. In front of an abandoned broken hovel. And I had no idea how long I sat here. Maybe one week? But I couldn't give a damn. I was sick of everyone and everything within my life. I just wanted everything to end already.

I couldn't move anyway because my whole body hurt like crazy. I was cold and hungry. The only thing I had were my filthy clothes, covered with a few bloodstains from the beating of that fucking old bastard. I didn't felt a bit guilty that I ran away on that day. It was the best thing that ever happened to me here in the Underground.

From a distance, I noticed two little children who were hiding behind an old fountain, staring at me. Their eyes were filled with pity and fear. The fear that they would end up like me, meeting the same cruel fate. At least, they had each other. A bond to value.

Slowly, I averted my eyes from them and stared at the ground. People who passed by me, tried to ignore me as good as they could. Some people were acting like I didn't exist and other however stopped hesitantly and stared at me with guilty eyes as if they wanted to help me but couldn't. Nevertheless, it was always the same thing. Every time, they would turn their backs on me and continue their way. Even so, I didn't blame them. The Underground was a place where everyone was just doing their best to survive. Yeah, the world was that cruel. Weak was losing, strong was winning. The strong prey on the weak. It was just so mercifully simple.

"Oi brat."

"..."

"Oi."

Huh? Someone's talking to me? Had been a while that someone actually talked to me. The last time was months ago.

Slowly, I lifted my head only to find a short guy in front of me. He had straight black hair, styled in an undercut and grey eyes. Despite his short height and youthful face, anyone could see that he was much older than me. Maybe four or five years older? Quite handsome. But really rude. He scowled at me with strange intimidating eyes that would probably scare the hell out of people. But surprisingly I wasn't scared.

"Tch. Are you deaf?"

I scoffed internally as I glared at him. Definitely a rude one. Slowly I opened my mouth and tried to speak which wasn't really easy with the dryness in my mouth and throat.

"Fuck off." I croaked out. He watched with narrowed knowing eyes, clearly ignoring my remark. But I couldn't care less at that moment. My whole throat burned just because of these few words. It wasn't helping either that I was feeling like had to puke.

"Aren't you one filthy pathetic pig?"

I couldn't help and gave a low dark chuckle which made him raise his eyebrows.

"You're right. I don't have anyone or a purpose. Nothing at all. Now that's a fucked up life isn't it? Haha, really pathetic." I replied, ignoring the burning in my throat. He didn't answer at that. Instead, he stared at me with a blank face. But never leaving his eyes of me like a hawk analyzing his prey. This guy was surely a weird one. Well, doesn't matter since many people in the Underground were literally weird, pitiful, desperate or crazy for whatever I know.

Slowly I lowered my head again and let a shaky breath out. I already noticed well before how my whole body went weaker and weaker. I tried to lift my hand but it wasn't responding. Shit, this wasn't good.

Black dots appeared in front of my eyes. I blinked but they didn't disappear. I was drenched in sweat as my breath went faster and my heart kept pounding like crazy. Suddenly the world around me became furry. Shit, this wasn't really good. I couldn't pass out in front of this idiot.

And the last thing I felt before everything went black was how I was caught by strong warm hands.


	2. Chapter 2

"Levi, are you sure that this will work?"

"Yeah. We just need to learn how to make use of them." I heard voices say but kept my eyes shut.

I realized that I was tucked into a bed when I felt something soft under me and warm on top of me. I didn't dare to open my eyes to let them know that I was actually awake as I continued to listen to their conversations about some things called maneuver gears. I recognized one of the voices. Oh god no, so I really passed out in front of that idiot and he seemingly brought me here. And his name was Levi...

Somehow, I felt humiliated. After all I kind of acted up in front him and told him to fuck off. And now he was the one who picked me up. But of course I would never admit it to him.

"I know that you're awake you brat. So stop eavesdropping and get the fuck up."

Damn busted!

"What? She was awake!?"

I opened my eyes as a bright light suddenly greeted me and sat up. Instantly I locked eyes with this Levi guy. He stared at me with a bored face that told me that he wasn't really impressed by me. At that I looked away and huffed.

"Ehm okay since you're awake you can.." His friend or whatever said as he put his hand on my shoulder at which I flinched appalled, scowling at him.

Startled, he pulled his hand away and scratched his head sheepishly. "Oh, sorry..."

He was a guy with light gray eyes and dark blond hair. His bangs hung over his forehead, between his eyes. He wore a simple long sleeve white shirt with a light blue vest and knee high boots. Actually, he didn't really look like a bad person as he gave me an apologetic smile. By the look of it, he just tried to help me. However I was still wary. Though it made him seem like an actually pretty nice guy unlike a certain someone who stood behind him.

"Anyway, my name is Furlan and the guy with the grimly face behind me is Levi." Thereby he pointed behind him at Levi who averted his eyes off of me and glared at Furlan instead, not missing the remark of grimly. "And you? What's your name?"

Now both of them were looking at me. It was kind of uncomfortable and made me a little bit edgy when two guys I didn't even know, waited for my answer.

I pondered about the fact if it would be alright to reveal my name, looking suspicious at them. But I didn't think that they would harm me in any way. Or else they would have started something by now. So this was out of question. So why not since he told me both of their names.

"Elea. Elea Prim."

"Elea? Okay Elea, nice to meet ya!" Furlan held his hand towards me. At that I frowned and stared at his outstretched hand, then back to him. I didn't make a move, and he slowly lowered his hand in embarrassment. The situation was pretty tense and awkward now when all of sudden I heard a growl...which actually came from my tummy! Quickly I placed my hand on my stomach, squeezing it with the hope that the growl will disappear. It didn't.

"Seems like your hungry. But don't worry, don't worry! Don't have to feel embarrassed or so. After everything you must have went through... Here!"

With a small chuckle Furlan stepped aside, revealing a small table behind him. On the desk stood a glass of water and a bowl, filled with potatoes.

Eyes widened, I swallowed and slowly ran my tongue across my lips. The smell of potatoes filled me that it literally drove me crazy. When was the last time I had something to eat? Feeling the dryness in my mouth and throat, I couldn't restrain myself anymore and leaped myself at the food. Within a moment I took the glass of water in my hand and drowned everything down. It felt so good to feel this cool fluency in my mouth again. With my hands then, I grabbed the potatoes and stuffed them quickly into my mouth which resulted to me, having a coughing fit. At that, Furlan let out a small chuckle again and patted my back. I didn't care that he touched me, giving my only attention to the food in front of me. Furlan started to fill my glass with water once more which I immediately drained away again while my hands already reached out for the next potatoes.

"Tch, how disgusting."

"W-What?!" I exclaimed indignantly with my mouth full of potatoes that a few potato crumbs darted out of it.

Raising his eyebrows, he crossed his arms and scowled at me. "You heard right, disgusting."

"Hell, you have a problem?!"

"How can I not if a filthy pig like you, makes everything disgustingly dirty even after I carried you here."

At that, I gritted my teeth and said nothing, just glaring at him. In a way he was in the right. He kind of saved me. Then he brought me to his house and let me sleep in a bed. I got food and now I'm making everything dirty without saying my thanks. Fuck, I hate to admit it but he was right. And his all so knowing face that told me that he was aware of that fact, made it no better.

"Furlan, teach this pig how to eat. Especially her manners. I'm going out for a bit. " And then he just turned around and left.

I still glared in the direction he left with Furlan not knowing how to approach this situation Levi caused.

Was something wrong with my eating? I always ate like that, nobody taught me otherwise. And manners? Shouldn't he be the one to pay attention to his manners?! Furious, I cursed him in my mind without noticing that Furlan took a seat across from me.

"I'm sorry for his behavior. But don't be too mad at him. Levi's a quite abrasive and not very approachable person. He rarely shows emotion and always gives a kinda cold impression to others. And his manner of speaking tends to be blunt and insulting, his comments are frequently coarse or quite inappropriate as you can see."

"Already realized it. This guy keeps on insulting me when he didn't even knows a thing about me."

"Ah yeah, I guess." He lightly chuckled and scratched his head. "Well, all of this makes him kinda unsettling you know?."

"Hm."

Suddenly he smiled and continued. "But even then he's the most person I have respect for. Although he rarely shows it, he really cares for his comrades. Even if you can't really imagine it, Levi does have a sense for morality and empathy. With this side and many others, he won the loyalty and respect of many other-.."

"Okay stop. You don't have to tell me all that. I'm not interested to know what he's like."

I really wasn't interested one bit. But still I couldn't comprehend any of his words as he talked about this guy like he was some hero. But therefore I wasn't that stupid to know that this Levi had something in him. The amount of respect and admiration Furlan had for him just proved it. Everyone could see it by the look of him.

Is this what you called a strong bond? Like based on trust, loyalty...

"Oh haha sorry! I stop. That was a bit exaggerated right?" He laughed a little embarrassed and slowly leaned back.

"I guess." I finished and narrowed my eyes at him. I sighed. I should say my thanks to him.

"But you know actually I think you two will get along just fine."

"Get along?" I repeated and raised my eyebrows. What was he talking about? I tried to imagine me with Levi. Getting along, spending time with him and laughing together...The fuck am I imagine. The hell no way! Just impossible. Especially him laughing like a kid? That picture already made me cringe.

"Yeah getting along. You're staying with us anyway or am I wrong?"

Bewildered, I stared at him, confused. Then I scoffed. Of course not.

"You're wrong." With that I arose and bowed a bit, showing him my gratitude as he watched me in confusion. "Thanks for looking after me. I appreciate it. And give that Levi guy my best regards."

With that I left the house, leaving Furlan behind as he shouted for me to wait, to actually think it over. But I ignored it and hastened my steps. What was there even to think about? It wasn't in my place to stay.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I flinched at this and slowly turned around, glaring at the one who stopped me. I blinked in surprise as I spotted Levi, sitting on the roof of an abandoned tiny house, staring at me with a blank expression. Not expecting him to sit there at all, I raised my eyebrows at him. Did he.. perhaps waited for me? I wagged my head at that thought. What was I thinking again? I even left the house on my own decision so that was definitely out of question.

"What do you want? Still any business with me?"

He didn't answer me, just continuing to stare at me from above. I gave him a look, irritated that he wasn't answering one of my questions so I continued. "Why do you even carried me to your house. I seriously appreciate it but I didn't ask you to do that for me. "

At that, he muttered something to himself, still observing me. The only words, I made out were just weak and strength. It irritated me even more.

"Damn it, speak up so I can properly hear you!"

"Just get back and stay this time. It's none of your business." He scowled at me.

"H-Huh?!"

Basically, I intended to hold my composure because I thought it was seriously kind enough of him to let me stay. But he just infuriated me. Not my business? Who does he think he is that he can order me around.

God why am I even wasting my time here? Sighing, I turned around again and attempted to continue my way when a hand suddenly grabbed my shoulder and shoved me against a wall.

"The hell you think you're doing, Levi?" I glared and met his hard gaze. I was trapped between his arms. Damn, he was too close.

Trying to escape, I attempted to kick his balls when he suddenly grabbed my leg at which my eyes widened in surprise. And again I was shoved against the wall. I smirked bitterly. He wasn't going easy on me even though I was a girl.

That hurt like hell. My back is probably going to have a few bruises. Darn.

"I'm giving you a choice. You can stay here with us with a roof over your shitty head, and enough food and a place to sleep. Or you can fuck off like you wanted, all alone without anything. Probably you're going to die alone because of starvation or someones going to take you against your will or whatever shit."

At that my eyes widened and I stopped struggling. I didn't care if I were to die alone but the thought alone of being taken away against my will again made me shudder. This was really something I never wanted to experience ever again.

I didn't have a future purpose but if I had to choose, it would definitely be the capability to live on my own. To never being forced to do something again, to be able to hold my own decisions, just being my own me. I wanted to keep this first time purpose forever.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Something was really wrong with my brain.

"Say Levi, why do you even care?"

"Who said I care? I don't give a damn at all. The only thing I'm giving you is an offer. Take it, reject it. I could careless."

I glared at him but without losing my composure and. "Yeah but why?"

"You won't let go of this, right?" He snarled and glowered at me. I smiled knowingly at that, thinking that I won over him so easily.

"Then just rot here."

Perplexed, I stared after him when he just removed himself away from me and went back towards the direction I came from. I took a deep breath and swallowed the deep lump in my throat as I clenched my fists, glaring after him. Shit!

"Levi wait!"


	3. Chapter 3

2 years had passed since Levi had found me. In these 2 years, I learned to defend myself and absorbed a lot of knowledge too.

Levi trained me how to fight and getting stronger, how to use the gear and most of all I got to know him better by spending much time with him. Though it seemed impossible at first but both of us strangely appreciated the presence of one another after a few months. Moreover, I noticed that Levi had a really big problem when it comes to dirt or generally something filthy. So unlike me. I didn't have a problem with these things at all since I literally grew up with being dirty all the time. These were one of the things I hated about Levi the most. Especially when he made me clean something. And the worst job was to clean the roof. A damn fucking roof.

Furlan taught me instead things like how to read and how to write. He provided me with informations about the world of Titans, the world above us and mankind and so much more. He even taught me how to behave in certain situations. For example how to speak and to treat certain people if I didn't want to get into trouble which wouldn't just harm me but also other people. I was grateful for everything he taught me. Now, I knew so much more about the world inside and outside the walls.

At least I didn't have to rely on them anymore. Because at first I might have caused little problems for everyone. I got into fights with higher people and insulted them because their action just made me furious. I always ignored the orders of Levi then, not thinking about the consequences at all. In the end, I just caused a huge mess, involving other of our comrades. I still can remember the harsh punishments I got from Levi for not following his orders. From then on, I fixed my mistakes, not wanting to get in the way of others anymore.

But still I had a few, no many arguments with Levi here and there. The only one time where I would be really obedient to him were in missions.

But right now, it seemed like I was causing another problem. It wasn't in my intention to do so but here I am, running away from three guys who were chasing after me and some little girl. I came across her and apparently she wanted to go through that damn Stairway. Cause she found a bird which lost its way in here and wanted to save it by bringing it to the surface. Actually I wanted to ignore her at first because I didn't want to involve myself with such guys again. But after hearing her explanation I couldn't just stand back, seeing this dumb brat getting so easily into danger just for a freaking bird. That was just crazy. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel astonished by her guts.

So I volunteered myself to help her. Levi's going to kill me if he ever heard about it. Oh how I prayed for it innerly not to happen.

"Hey you!" I shouted and looked behind me at the panting girl. "Run straight. Afterwards turn to the right site and run to the first house."

"W-What? But-

"Just do it idiot! I thought you wanted to save the bird!" I interrupted her and gave her a hard glare. She gulped at that and glanced down on the bird which she held protective against her, then back at me.

"O-Okay! Be safe!" She yelled and sprinted to the direction I told her.

Sighing, I finally stopped running and faced the three guys who panted like crazy when they halted in front of me. With the thought that I could fight them without any problems, I lifted my fists, preparing to hit the first who dared to make a move on me. But then they grinned evilly at me and slowly brought some dangerous knifes out at which my eyes widened. I didn't expect that. Tch. Seems like I'm pretty fucked up.

* * *

Covered with a few bruises and wounds where a little blood still leaked out, I stood in front of our house with one of these three guys holding onto my arms. I discovered Levi and Furlan at the door, facing the bird brat without noticing us until the fat guy who was holding me, had to shout at them. Quickly, I lowered my head, not wanting them to see me in that state. It was embarrassing.

"Hey, there's a dirty little kid over there, right?!" Upon hearing a voice both of them turned around, eyes widened when they saw me. Instinctively, I avoided their glances and glared at the ground.

"Those are the only kinds around." I heard Furlan reply calmly.

Crap, I could even feel their piercing gazes on me. Many would fear them but that wasn't my case. So I just ignored their gazes and thought about the punishments I would receive from Levi for causing problems again, when the man holding me suddenly took a step forward and climbed the stairs up, dragging me with him.

"Huh? Are you guys the thugs in this area? Hey that's...Guys, I've found her!" He shouted upon discovering the bird brat at which his other friends followed him up.

"Hand her over to us! You'll be sorry if you cover for her. After all, she tried to get past the 11th stairway without paying. Together with this girl!" He said and pointed at me.

At that, I closed my eyes in frustration and bit hard on my lip. Why did they had to mention me? Now I was seriously fucked up.

"You guys should know this, the 11th stairway is under the jurisdiction of one of the nobles Lobov-san. Anyone who tries to pass there without paying is prosecuted. Of course you guys will be charged too for being her accomplice."

They weren't wrong. Levi and Furlan could be indeed considered as guilty for harboring her. And that would be my fault. However, I couldn't care less. That would never happen anyway since this little girl wasn't the first one we ever refuged from shitty people like themselves. We had our own certain way to deal with such things or else I wouldn't be that stupid enough to send her here without thinking about the consequences.

"If you guys get it, then hurry up and hand her over! Or are you guys friends?"

"Not at all." Furlan replied again. "But you have one of our friends in your arms."

My eyes twitched. I knew Furlan. The past years told me enough about him even if it were just two.

Furlan was so much different than Levi. Then again not. He was someone with manners. He knew the distinction between of when to have fun and when to be serious, he was an usually depicted as levelheaded and calm guy. He was one of the kindest people I ever met in the Underground and knew how to get people to like him as he played with his words. I often admired this ability of him.

Over the years I spend with them, I observed them dealing with difficult situations. Unlike Levi, Furlan was dangerous in a different kind of way. With his friendly appearance and polite charisma, he was able to deceive and kill multiple people who thought that he was just an easy going guy. He would always hide his real attempts behind his smiling mask. This part of him amazed me and sometimes frightened me at the same time.

Just like now. I knew he was angry, just holding back as I glanced at him.

"Huh?! This girl?" The man who held me, pointed at me while yanking me forward harsh.

He hardened his grip on both of my wrists that it will probably leave a few marks later. Suddenly, he took my chin into his hand and turned me to his ugly pig face, showing me his wide grin. I glared at him, disgusted by his touch.

So I spitted on his face.

His priceless face after that made me smirk. He literally went red from anger and glared at me with furious eyes as he wiped his face. A small chuckle erupted from Furlan and even Levi wore an amusing expression while the girl just stared at me in shock.

Abruptly, the man broke one of his arms loose. For a second, I really thought that he would slap me but then he just smirked at me with a glint in his eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows at that.

Suddenly a hand started to slid over my waist at which I stiffened. Instantly, I tried to struggle away from his hold, trying to hit or kick him but he kept a firm grip on me.

He turned my chin again so that I was facing Levi and Furlan now. As soon as they saw my expression and his hand on my waist, their eyes showed pure rage for a second after disappearing again.

"Ahh sorry guys, but I can't give your little friend back. I mean look at her! Someone like her is really hard to find in the Underground you know. At least let me have a little fun with her!" He laughed out loudly as his other friends joined in with him. Again I tried to break away from his hold but he just pulled me closer by force, burying his sweaty face in the crook of my neck while mumbling a few words I didn't understand. His stinking breath made me gag.

Even more disgusted, I gritted my teeth when he started to rub his hand over my waist. Then his hand suddenly headed further down to my ass.

In a flash, I was pulled away from him.

"Don't touch her with your filthy hands." Levi growled with a dangerous low voice as he held me. Relief filled me the second I found myself in his warm arms and the panic in me slowly faded away. Suddenly I was pushed to Furlan who quickly caught me by my arms, steadying me.

With that, I immediately turned around and witnessed the man who was about to punch Levi.

In response, Levi fetched his knife out and sliced his hand in a swift move that a big amount of blood splattered out. Shocked, the man touched his hand and stared at Levi in fear when the next thing he received were several punches. Levi stared at him with a killing intend, then he kicked him down the stairs where he was caught by his friends.

"Oh my. You can't do it like that. We always prioritize hygiene. Wash your hands and come back again." Furlan threatened with a smile.

I didn't pay attention to them anymore and instead observed Levi from the corner of my eyes as he started to clean his knife with his kerchief. He wore his same blank expression again, the rage mode gone.

"These guys are dangerous. Let's go!"

Once the three decided that they were better off leaving and were nowhere to be seen, Levi and Furlan instantly turned around, their full attention on me now. Within a second, Levi grabbed me by my collar and looked me into the eyes like he was about to kill me. I took a glance at Furlan but he just crossed his arms, staring at me angrily and at the same time disappointed.

"Let go Levi." I grumbled.

"Then explain." Levi growled.

"Well, you heard the man." I growled back. I saw it in his eyes. He didn't like the way I talked to him. Good.

"That's not true! She helped me to save a bird! It's my fault! Seriously!" The little girl butted in as she looked between us in panic. I stared at her with a blank expression, not saying anything at that when Furlan suddenly placed his hand on her shoulder, smiling at her.

"Could you please explain it to us then?" She nodded slowly at him and licked her lips. Slowly she opened her hands, revealing the bird in it.

"You know, it got lost on it's way here. Probably through some duct. So I thought I'll bring it to the surface." Smiling, she stroked the bird and continued with her explanation. "This guy would want to fly in the sky instead of being here in the Underground. So I attempted to use the 11th stairway. But before I could even do that, she appeared and tried to hold me back. But I refused to. In the end, she decided to help me but we ..failed."

"Of course you failed." Levi glared and slowly let go of my collar while muttering some cursing words. Then he suddenly grabbed me by my arm and dragged me into the house, shoving me on a chair, leaving me there confused.

Soon he came back with a first aid box and began to treat my wounds which caught me by surprise.

"I can do it myself." I mumbled but he just scowled at me and continued to treat them in a surprisingly gently way.

A warm feeling slowly filled me but I ignored it and cocked my head.

"Hey Levi. Don't you have anything to say? No punishment?"

"Learn your stupid mistakes for yourself."

I raised my eyebrows at that and didn't think much about it. Maybe he was in a good mood today. My lips twitched and slowly formed a small smile as I shifted my eyes away from him.

"Clean the loft after this."

My smile immediately fell. Then Furlan and the little girl stepped into the room. Furlan took a seat on the coach, treating the injuries of the bird while the bird brat took a seat beside him.

"Heh, you're pretty good." The girl said as she observed Furlan, wrapping a bandage around one of its wings.

"Thanks. And you really tried to break through the stairway just for that?"

"Mhh, I guess...Oh! And I'm really sorry that I involved all of you into this matter. Really! Sorry! Especially you!" She shouted and turned to me. " You got injured because of me. I'm sorry."

Slowly, Furlan sat up and patted the girls head. "It's fine, it's fine. Right Elea?" I gave him a small nod at which Furlan grinned and patted the girls head again.

"See! So stop apologizing now."

She bobbed her head at that and beamed at him. "Ah that's right, what's your name? I'm Isabel!"

"Furlan. And these two over there are Elea and Levi." He replied, pointing at us.

"Furlan, Elea and …Levi-aniki!"

"Aniki?" Levi repeated and frowned.

"Listen! Please let me become one of you! You guys have been using 3D maneuver gears, right? I've seen it before. I felt really envious. You guys fly around like birds. Please, I want to try it too!" She looked at us with pleading eyes. I stared at her in confusion. This girl was so bright and loud. The total opposite of me. That actually sounded very straining. Like a huge burden.

"What do you think?" Furlan asked, looking at Levi.

Levi didn't respond and continued to treat my injuries. When he finished them, he got up and was about to leave the room without responding to her. I raised my eyebrows in anticipation. In the end, I didn't really care if she stayed.

"Please!" Isabel pleaded again, making Levi stop.

"If you want to stay here, learn how to clean first before you learn how to use the 3D maneuver gear." Then he left, leaving a surprised Isabel behind.

Learn how to clean first? Same as always I guess. Still, it brought a smile on my face.

I stood up from my chair and made my way towards the door, glancing at her for a brief moment. She didn't notice me since she seemed to be lost in her own world while wearing a big stupid smile on her face. Then all of sudden she let a loud cheer out and bounced up and down.

Levi actually managed to make someone that happy.


	4. Chapter 4

I misjudged.

With the years, I took a quiet liking to Isabel. She didn't turn out to be a burden like I imagined. Instead she was a cheerful girl who showed much capability and braveness. Sometimes she acted like a kid, we had to watch out for. Therefore it was amusing to watch her being lectured by Levi for her foolish behavior.

In a flash a year had passed. By the time Isabel learned how to use the 3DMG and also had the opportunity to save her little bird by bringing it to the surface through an undiscovered cave. Most of our time, we spend with improving our skills or cleaning the house at the behest of Levi.

Our purpose was it to get the hell out of this damn Underground and to start a new life on the surface. Together.

When I heard that for the first time, I was quite surprised. Honestly, I didn't believe it at first that we could ever accomplish something like that. It felt too much like a dream. That belief however stopped over the time once I saw Levis determination and his way of handling things. I eventually learned to trust him.

Plus, we were known as criminals in the Underground. There was no other way. With the aim to leave this Underground we had to gain money.

Most of our targets were the merchants. At the beginning, I had quite difficulties in stealing since I never had done something like that in my life. We also had to fight them in the process when they would caught us. After a few months though, I didn't consider it as difficult anymore and honestly even enjoyed it. They just seemed to live a good life in the Underground unlike other people. They disgusted me. Harming poor and frail people just for fun, treating them like slaves and making children do the work. Knowing this made it a lot easier for me to beat the shit out of them like they did on other people.

I never felt a bit guilty. Until then. Until I committed the hugest sin one could ever do. I took someones life away.

It wasn't on purpose. It just happened by mistake. These were the things which I persuaded myself with. But it couldn't change the face that I killed him with my own two hands. His blood would always stick on my hands no matter how often I washed them. It truly was the most terrifying moment in my whole life. It frightened me and made me feel disgusting. I wasn't better than these people.

At this point, I never dared to take a step outside, never dared to touch someone again. I just locked myself in my own room. Furlan knocked every day on my door, trying to get me out with comforting words. It wasn't my mistake, Levi and he killed multiple people. But his words didn't help. It didn't change the fact that I myself killed someone. So I continued to stay in my room alone until Levi decided he had enough and kicked my door down. He knocked some sense into me, breaking my nose in the process.

I was aware of the fact that it was just Levis way of comforting. A really strange and crazy way of comforting. But that was just his way of handling things. Though, he could had spare my fucking nose...but after all that, I strangely felt better again, pretty much alive.

And after a few days everything went like always again. Though, I still had a few problems with it at the beginning. Every night the same scene would repeat itself before my eyes, me killing someone, their blood on my hands. And every night I would scream. Levi was always the one who came into my room every night then, staying with me the whole night. Just staying by my side without saying anything. But that little already helped me a lot. And by the time the repeating dreams stopped all at once.

And then it happened again. I took someones life again. But this time I did it to save my comrades. It didn't make me feel like a monster.

Now I was used to it. But I never ever forgot a face of whom I killed. I really became a person who could hurt and kill people without any hesitation just to reach a certain goal...

"Levi-aniki! Please don't pick me! Just not me!" Isabel fussed as the four of us walked to our house.

Her annoying fuss made me roll my eyes but I could understand her. The thought of cleaning the roof again made me cringe. I still could remember the last time I had to do it just because I accidentally spilled a little tea on Levis pants. Damn him and his stupid being clean obsession.

"What's the deal, old man?" Isabel suddenly asked with her hands crossed behind der head. I looked up and discovered an old man in front of our house.

He was an old man with white hair and a mustache. His clothes were composed of black pants and a white shirt. Over it he wore a black coat and a black hat on his head. But the thing that caught my eye was that his clothes seemed rather too noble for the Underground. I stared at him suspiciously and at the same time wary as I continued to examine him from up and down. Although he seemed to notice it, he didn't let it show it and kept a stiff upper lip.

"Didn't you get the wrong house? This is not a handyman shop." Furlan began and narrowed his eyes at him. But the man ignored him as he turned his attention towards Levi.

"I promise you a reward."

"Go home!" Levi spatted instantly and continued his way with us following behind him as we passed the old man and went the stairs up to our house. That was it.

"I've already paid the deposit though."

Upon hearing that, we stopped and I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"You're kidding, right? This is the very first time we've seen you." I said, frowning at him with my arms crossed.

"That's true, but you should already know…about him."

At that, he turned around and directed his gaze at something. Following his stare, my eyes widened as I spotted our friend Jan, talking with two strangers as he limped forward with his arms around one of them. They helped him entering a carriage. It seemed like he had difficulties in walking again, certainly because of his leg. I glanced at the man again and narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't like the fact that he involved Jan in whatever business we are now.

"His leg is already at its limit. He needs to get treatment at a hospital on the surface. Isn't that right Levi-kun?"

"What's the meaning of this?!" Furlan demanded, looking slightly angry and confused.

"I told you, didn't I? It's a deposit for the job. You'll listen to the details now, right?"

I bit my lip at that and glared at him. Don't have much a choice, I guess. Probably that man was hired by someone. Obviously we had to do some dirty work for someone in exchange for healing Jans leg. But then that means that he at least got the opportunity to get on the surface. That little thought made me smile a bit. He deserved it.

But like always there had to be something. Something that was seriously hard to deal with, that could get us into really huge trouble. I glanced at Levi and waited for his answer. Whatever he chose we would follow it anyway.

"Fine then."

* * *

Climbing the stairs of the 11th stairway, we were getting nearer the surface which made my heart beating faster in anticipation. I never had been that close to the surface and yet I could already see the end.

Arriving, I blinked and held a hand out in front of my face. I wasn't used to this brightness of the surface. After I got used to the light, I slowly dropped my hand as I discovered a red carriage above us. A man stood in front of it but I wasn't able to distinguish his face because of the brightness.

"Are these the guys?" The man asked and received an answer from the old man. "Yes, I've heard they're excellent."

 _Excellent.._ I repeated in my head and thought back to all the training and severe exhausting combats I went through with Levi. They were worth it in the end.

"Who the hell are you?" Levi asked, showing no emotion on his face.

"It's understandable that you're wary of me. But you'll learn, it's okay to trust me."

Hearing that, Furlan let an unbelievable laugh out while I also scoffed at that. "How could we?"

"The fact that I'm here says everything. I'm at great risk just by being here. Have you received the deposit already?"

"I don't know how things work on top, but in our world it's called taking a hostage." Levi said.

That was true. With the treatment for Jans leg, it was like we were practically forced to do their dirty work. What would happen to Jan if we wouldn't do it? What a dirty move to force someone into something. Still so fucking clever.

"That's just a contingency plan we laid in place. When you have successfully completed the job, you won't only be getting a huge sum of money but also... citizenship on the surface."

My eyes widened upon hearing that as my whole body went still. A sudden urge overcame me and I gulped. Don't be greedy, I told myself and licked my lips. This was a huge step. Nobody knew the outcome, either we success and get our freedom or we fail and maybe die.

But seriously, the chance to leave this filthy place behind and living together on the surface. I would do anything for it even if it was the most ridiculous thing. My answer was settled. But that wasn't for me to decide.

I glanced at Levi who just looked as surprised as the others. All of a sudden, he slowly turned his head to me and looked me straight into the eyes as if he asked for my approval. Staring back with eyes full of hope and determination, I slightly nodded my head at him, approving the mans offer.

* * *

"YAHOO!" Isabel screamed exited as we escaped with our 3DMGs after knocking multiple supply crates over, making a scene.

"Levi, they're here! The pursuers!"

At that, I turned my head and discovered the Military Police behind us. That went fast.

"Huh? The Military Police again? Haven't learnt their lesson, have they?…..Hey, Levi-aniki! What I just said was a cool line right?"

"Oi Isabel. Shut your mouth and face the front." I said and rolled my eyes at her, making her pouting at me.

We were chased by the military police. In fact our plan was it to be chased by the Survey Corps because of our mission. The mission consisted out of two tasks. The first one was to obtain a certain document from someone of the Survey Corps who's name went by Erwin Smith. The second one was to kill him.

So we formed a plan to make a scene in the Underground. Then we would escape with our 3DMGs from the Survey Corps. We're going to let them capture us and then we're probably going to be in suspension after that. But that won't happen because we planned to escape after carrying out our mission. No way are we going to miss this darn opportunity to start a new life on the surface. Just wait Erwin Smith.

I looked over my shoulder again when I noticed that we were chased by people in green cloaks now. I also didn't miss their sudden increasing speed.

"Oi Levi! Those movements! They're not the Military Police!" I shouted at him and aimed my hook on a building, moving forward faster.

"Yeah. No mistake. It's them. The wings of Freedom crest…It's the Survey Corps." Levi leaped forward again, leading the way with us behind him.

"Heh. As people who battle the Titans, they're as different as expected."

I also felt impressed by their skills, like Furlan was. So that was the famous Survey Corps. What did Furlan taught me about them again in the past?

If I recall it correctly he told me that the Survey Corps were a branch of the military. They were mostly active in Titan combat, Titan study, human expansion and outside exploration. Everything about them involved Titans. A growing smile made it onto my face. The thought of fighting with people who dealt with real Titans awakened the fire in me.

"You guys. You know, right?"

Hearing Levis cue, we nodded and parted our ways.

Glancing behind me, I noticed how one of them was chasing after me and decided to push myself at a speed that was hard to follow. In the last years of training with the 3DMG, I noted that it was the best thing I could do without any problems. Even Furlan once praised me for being so good in it. He even mentioned that I could probably reach Levis level one day although I held a different opinion about that matter. Levis skills with the gear were just too crazy for me.

Aiming my hooks on a building once more, I reeled myself towards it and landed safely on my feet as I ran along the roof. Firing the hooks on another building again, I leaped forward and changed my direction, turning to a narrow alley as I latched my hooks to the side of a corner and leaped towards a broken window.

After landing safely on my feet, I quickly straightened myself up and sprinted to the next window, slightly turning my head to look at my pursuer. It impressed me that he was able to keep up with me. As expected from the Survey Corps. But that wasn't my fastest speed. Jumping out the window, I aimed myself on another building again and began to fasten my speed while glancing behind me.

A smirk made it onto my face as I saw that the person wasn't able to keep up with me anymore. I was about to fire my hooks again when someone suddenly got in my way and pushed himself towards me. I tried to avoid him but with my fast speed I couldn't stop myself anymore and crashed into him.

We fell on the ground, he on top of me while trying to get a hold on me as I punched him in the face at which he cried out. With his large hands then, he grabbed me and pinned me hard against a wall. My attempt to kick him in the balls failed as he caught my leg and slammed me on the ground. I underestimated him.

"Nice punch girl."

"You too not bad." I smirked and grimaced as I touched my head where a little blood already leaked out. It hurt like hell from the hard landing.

Suddenly I was pulled on my feet again as the soldier lightly pushed me forward. On the way I encountered with Furlan and Isabel who were also captured. I gave them a knowing look and they nodded at me. Everything was going as planned. Yet.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Isabel complained and tried to free herself as I spotted Levi in front of us who defended himself with a knife against a blond one.

"Levi!" Furlan yelled at which Levi turned to us. Upon seeing us, he slowly let go of his knife, a sign that he surrendered.

* * *

"I'll ask a few questions."

We were on our knees, strapped. Levi beside me. In front of us was the guy he fought with, blond hair and blue eyes. Probably the leader of the small gang.

"Where did you get this? You guys are skilled with 3DMG. Who taught you all that?" He asked and lifted a part of the gear. Nobody of us spoke up so he began to approach Levi, making me a little worried. It was obvious to me that Levi could deal with everything without problems but we weren't exactly in a situation where everything went well without any difficulties. Now was the real deal.

"You're their leader, right? Were you trained in the military?"

Silence. We all knew that Levi hated the military. His face darkened by his remark. He glared at their leader when someone suddenly grabbed his hair and shoved his head down into a puddle, making us gasp in shock.

A sudden wave of anger overcame me and I was about to snap at them when Levi suddenly turned his head in my direction, throwing me his "don't do anything stupid" glare. I sensed that he also fumed with rage when they dared to shove his head into a filthy puddle. He wanted to kill them right there and now. But he restrained himself and suppressed his killing intend instead.

So I followed his example and averted my eyes from this sight, clenching my fists.

"I'll ask one more time. Where did you learn to use 3DMG?"

"From no one! We learnt it by ourselves!" Furlan desperately said and stared worriedly at Levi who still had his head in the filthy puddle.

"Self-taught, you say? I don't buy it." My eyes twitched at that and I bit the inside of my mouth till I could taste a little blood.

"It's just so we're able to rise even a bit in this disgusting garbage place! People like you who are you used to sunlight won't fucking understand us!" Furlan finally snapped.

"Yeah right! Don't be cocky just because you're soldiers! That's enough now! Let Aniki go!"

After staring at us with thoughtful eyes, the leader threw an approving glance at the soldier who still had a grab on Levis head. Levi was yanked up again, the hatred clearly in his eyes reflected while the leader kneeled himself in front of Levi. "My name is Erwin Smith."

Hearing that, I narrowed my eyes at him. He was the one who was in possession of the document and the one we were ordered to kill. Our target. Honestly it didn't surprise me. That guy was a though one.

"And yours is?"

"Levi."

"Levi. Why don't we make deal?"

"A deal?"

"I will let your crimes go unpunished. In return, lend me your strength and join the Survey Corps."

Just when I thought that nothing could surprise me anymore. That was just so fucking random. Join the Survey Corps? We didn't except something like that. I didn't expect that. Not at all. It wasn't in our plan from the beginning. And that leader just threw us the perfect opportunity to steal the document as well as to kill him.

"And if I refuse?" Levi spatted, gritting his teeth.

"Then the Military Police will have you. Considering all of your crimes, you and your friends, won't be treated very nicely. Choose whichever you prefer."

I chanced a glance at Levi though I couldn't really see his face because of his bangs but I knew the answer anyway.

"Fine." Levi replied and spitted the dirt out of his mouth, shooting their leader a death glare. "I'll join your damn Survey Corps."


	5. Chapter 5

"Attention, all! From today on, these four will be fighting alongside you all! Introduce yourself!"

Slowly my eyes scanned the crowd in front of me. We stood face to face with soldiers of the Survey Corps who were lined up across from us. There wasn't really a need to introduce ourselves. Just by looking at their faces, I knew that they didn't exactly appreciated our presence here. Seems like rumors spread pretty fast of us coming from the Underground.

"The name's Levi." Levi first began. His way of introducing himself, made the people look at him in disbelieve as they sniggered at him. However, he clearly didn't give a shit and looked straight ahead with his bored expression.

"Levi. The first thing you'll need is some discipline. Next!"

Isabel took a step forwards and grinned, pointing at herself. "I'm Isabel Magnolia! Nice to meetcha!"

Furlan was the next one. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him attempting to do their hand sign of liberty or whatever that sign was called. I raised my eyebrows at that, then looked back ahead. "My name is Furlan Church."

He received many cross glances and grunts while other people scoffed at him. Seems like he did something wrong, I think. Then they turned their attention to me, already judging me from their looks. I sighed internally but kept a straight face as I took a step forward. "Elea Prim."

They grumbled and threw me dirty looks of my way of introducing while I looked straight ahead, not caring a bit about their opinions. These people were just dreamers who believed in something beyond the walls. They willied to throw their lives away for a change that will never happen. I wasn't like them. The only reason I was here is reach my goal. Nothing else mattered than that.

"Prim! You too need some goddamn discipline! Let's continue. Flagon, these three will be assigned to your squad. Look after them."

"M-My squad, sir?"

My eyes quickly glanced at the said person. He wasn't happy with this outcome.

"Are you dissatisfied?"

"N-No….But shouldn't Erwin….

"Erwin is tasked with the soldiers' formation. The new recruits will be your responsibility. Understood?"

"Yes, sir! Understood!"

I narrowed my eyes at this information. I also had the assumption that Erwin would be declared as our squad leader since he was the one captured and got us here in the first place. We would had a better chance of stealing the document as well as to win his trust just to kill him in the end. But that would be too easy, I guess. This assignment is truly going to be a pain in the ass.

* * *

"These are the barracks." Our new squad leader said, leading us to our room as we followed him in silence.

The room was pretty big and had four loft bunks. Enough for all four of us...was what I thought. Apparently women weren't allowed to share a room with guys. Of course Isabel was the one to throw a tantrum right after that.

I ignored her complains about the rules and roamed my eyes around the room when I noticed Levi checking the cleanliness of the room by running his hand under one of the loft bunks. I rolled my eyes at him as his face darkened. He stared at his now dirty hand with disgust. Not good.

"You have been living in the dumps of the Underground but do try to keep this place clean."

Upon that, Furlan and Isabel gasped in shock and whirled around at which he seemed to be quite taken aback. I bit on my lip, suppressing the growing grin as I observed Levi from the corners of my eyes. Honestly even our house in the Underground was much cleaner than this room here. Telling us to keep this room clean and this in front of Levi, the cleaning freak, was the stupidest thing I ever heard.

My enjoyment of witnessing this situation increased even more when Levi took a dangerous step towards squad leader. Clean mode - start.

"What's with that look? How dare you approach a superior officer with that attiude-

"AHH sorry! We got it. We'll try to keep this place clean." Furlan interrupted him and did their hand sign as I pouted and gave Furlan an irritating look. Levis cleaning outburst on that Flagon would probably been a fun thing to watch. Nevertheless, Furlan was always good in resolving bad situations like these ones. If he didn't stop Levi, who knows whatever shit we could have been punished with.

"Tch. You'll begin training first thing tomorrow, got it? And your hand's upside down!" Furlan instantly fixed his mistake and squad leader left.

I glanced at Levi and rolled my eyes again as I saw him cleaning his hand with his favorite kerchief just because he touched a little dirt.

"Levi. Don't pull any stunts like that anymore. We've got enough eyes on us already.'' Furlan reminded him.

"Did you not hear what that piece of shit was spouting out of his piece of shit mouth?"

"We weren't just caught by accident, you know Levi. I hope you haven't forgotten why we're here."

"Yeah, I know." He answered, aware of the fact that we should act like we were supposed to.

This was serious. We were here to steal the document and to kill that Erwin guy. However my gut feelings told me that it wouldn't be that simple at all. Erwin Smith was dangerous.

* * *

Cursing Levi in my mind, I climbed the stairs towards the roof, attempting to find this idiot.

A few moments ago, all three of us got into a heated argument with Levi. It was about the next expedition where we planned to take the document in possession as well as to kill Erwin Smith. But Levi suddenly felt otherwise. He wanted to go alone since we couldn't fucking handle such a task supposedly anymore.

I didn't buy it. It irritated the hell out of me and just made me angrier that he couldn't tell us what he really thought. There had to be something!

And like I assumed, he was on the roof, sitting on a wall while staring at the sky. I made my way to him and took a seat beside him. But he didn't even acknowledge my presence and continued observing the night sky. I scoffed at that.

"Oh please, now ignoring me or what?"

"What do you fucking want Elea?" He turned his head to me and scowled at me, finally acknowledging my presence.

"What I want? Rather what's with you? Why are you suddenly against the idea of us coming along?"

"Shut up."

He turned his head away from me, staring at the dark night sky again. Sometimes he really was just so stubborn. I glared at him from the side out. Then the only most possible answer would be that.

"You're worried about us, about our safety."

"Don't be ridiculous."

I knew it. My anger disappeared all at once. Then I glanced at his hand which was next to mine and narrowed my eyes at it. I couldn't care less if it looked stupid. If it can at least provide him some comfort and reassurance, so be it.

So I placed my hand on his warm hand, squeezing it. He didn't acknowledge it but didn't pull away either. At least, he accepted my comfort.

"That's how you felt? Really? The hell, you're serious? That's so not like you!" I laughed out loudly then, clearly pissing him of as he scowled at me and told me to go away with my shit. But I stayed, my hand still on his as I looked up at the dark night sky, my face serious now.

"It is not in your right to decide this for us Levi. We chose that same goal like you so we're going to follow you if you like it or not. I was pretty sure that you trusted us enough. So why not put your faith in us now?"

I tilted my head at him. He looked at me and was about to say something when the door suddenly bursted open, making us flinch as we let go of each other hands.

"Aniki!"

"Levi. Let's talk about that. I can't agree with you going alone. That's still as dangerous for you!"

"You said that when we first step outside, it'll be the four of us all at once. Have you forgotten?"

Breaking eye contact with the two, Levi turned around and faced the sky again. "It's the same. When you can't see the moon or stars, the sky up here is just the same as the sky down there."

With that, we stared at the sky which was covered by dark clouds.

"The color of the sky, sure. But…"

"But, it's different!" Isabel interrupted Furlan and stared Levi with shining eyes. "We know that there's no ceiling. It's completely different. It may be just dark, but it's far different from the Underground. The sky is endless, Aniki! Look! The moon is so bright!" Isabel shouted and pointed at the moon who started to reveal himself.

Both of them took a seat beside us then. We all faced the sky now, staring at the bright moon who let all the dark clouds fade away.

"Right? There's a difference, isn't there, Aniki?"

"We're not in the Underground after all, Levi." Furlan stated and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance.

"Don't except from us to let you go alone. The four of us always pulled everything through. It'll be the same with the Titans. So let's do this together, Levi. Trust us like we trust you. And believe in us." He assured him and gave him a comforting smile upon which his eyes widened.

Finally, I thought and sighed. You could really depend on Furlan.

I shifted my eyes to Levi again. He seemed quite taken aback. Then he narrowed his eyes, lost in his own thoughts as he stared at the sky again. We joined him and were amazed at the sight above us. The dark clouds who were covering the sky, were fading away now all at once and revealed an amount of stars. My eyes widened at that sight. That was definitely not like the Underground.

"Alright. I'll believe in you."

My mouth twitched upon hearing his answer as relief filled me. I chanced a glance at him and my eyes widened in surprise upon seeing his rare smile. It wasn't the first time but like always it was an astonishing sight to catch that I could never take my eyes away.

"Yay! Aniki sure is a stubborn one, ain't he?" Isabel laughed and put an arm around me, breaking me out of my trance. I blinked as Isabel gave me a questioning look. At that, I lifted my hand and ruffled her hair at which she laughed like a kid.

For a long time we just sat there, reassuring us that we could get through everything as we talked about our future together on the surface. It truly felt like dream.


	6. Chapter 6

Bells started to chime, announcing everyone of the Survey Corps temporary depart to the outside world. It had been just a few weeks since we joined the Survey Corps and a majority of them still believed that we weren't ready to face the outside world. But I knew that we were more than ready than most of the soldiers here. I swear that I just saw someone crying his eyes out and screaming for his mum. Pathetic.

I didn't felt any fear or nervousness, I felt rather calm and confident. Once more, I roamed my eyes at the ton of horses with their riders on top of them, surrounding me. Beside me were Isabel, Furlan and Levi. Isabel stroked her horse, trying to calm it down while Furlan looked composed. And Levi looked like always, wearing his blank expression.

"OPEN THE GATE! TODAY WE TAKE ANOTHER STEP FORWARD! SHOW ME THE FRUITS OF YOUR TRAINING! SHOW THEM THE STRENGTH OF HUMANITY!"

Thereupon everyone shouted and raised their weapons high into the sky. Everyone, apart from us who were pretty much unaffected by these words of encouragement. Strength of humanity. To me, it sounded just like tumbling towards my own death.

The gate creaked open and got higher and higher by the second. Leaning forward, I tried to look beyond the gate but I wasn't able to catch a sight of anything. The only thing I made out was a white fog. But I could even feel the slightest breeze of the outside world till here which made me feel goosebumps.

Just what was going to await me, I asked myself. I didn't know what to expect. It was the territory of Titans. Even then I couldn't help it and feel excitement within me, the fire in me awakened again.

"WE WILL NOW BEGIN THE 23RD EXPEDITION BEYOND THE WALLS! FORWARD, EVERYONE!"

My whole body trembled in anticipation and my heartbeat throbbed beyond control as my horse sprinted towards the gate with me on top of it.

Freedom..what was it really like?

Moving forward, I stole a glance at my friends and recalled all of our past memories. Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

My first time beyond the walls, my first encounter with a Titan. This expedition, can it change something within me?

My eyes widened upon what I found after passing the gate. Above me, the endless blue sky, covered by fluffy white clouds. In front of me endless stretches of hills and the sun rays shining on my skin. A gentle breeze blew through my hair, lifting my cloak with the wings of freedom on it.

I thought leaving the Underground and living on the surface would be freedom enough. But now that I was seeing all this, I didn't want to leave all of this behind.

Realizing that it definitely was something worthy to give up your life for, reminded me of the people I called crazy and stupid to throw their lives away for this. I misjudged again. It wasn't even in my place to judge their actions and decisions.

To think that I actually lived all these years behind the walls without knowing about this world, what a waste. For the first time in my life, I felt free.

That feeling didn't last long though as a suddenly loud roar destroyed the moment.

"Titan sighted! Ahead and to our right! One 15-metre class right ahead!"

I gasped in disbelief when a Titan came into my view. It didn't match my imaginings at all. It was too huge without any clothes on and just wore a stupid creepy smile on its face. They really looked terrifying but instead of freaking out in the inside, I kept my composure.

"Two 10-metre Class Titans are heading towards us from behind!"

I slightly took a glance behind me, discovering the two 10-metre titans. Creepy creatures. Just where did they come from? I shifted my attention back to the front and observed a guy who reeled himself towards the Titan ahead of us. But his attempt to kill him failed as the Titan leaped forward and killed him with its only bare teeth at which I grimaced in disgust. Nobody deserved such a cruel death.

Our squad leader took his part then, showing no emotion at the action before us and reeled himself behind the Titan. Aiming his hooks on the neck, he headed forward in a fast speed and sliced a part of its neck that it fell to ground. It surprised me. So squad leader didn't just own a big mouth.

All of a sudden, Levi changed his direction and sprinted with his horse towards the two Titans behind us. I was sure that I told him not to start a single handed attempt a few days ago, and he promised me that he won't. This fucking liar!

"Let's do this, you two!" I shouted at Furlan and Isabel and followed Levi with the two of them behind me. Levi already killed one of them easily so I shifted my attention to the other one.

"Furlan! Isabel! Try to cut its knees so that its gonna fall forward! I'm gonna do the final move! Understood?!"

They nodded at me and moved towards its legs while I fixated my eyes on the Titan. Both of them achieved their success in cutting its knees that it fell forward. Seeing that, I reeled myself high into the air. Its neck came into my view so I leaped forward in a fast speed and sliced my blades deep into the Titans neck, killing it as it fell to the ground.

"Elea, you did it!"

"Nice kill!"

I nodded at them, breathing hard as I climbed on my horse again. I tried to calm down. My heart still pounded rapidly. My first time that I killed a Titan. Somehow, I managed to do it. When I first saw Levi striding away, it actually caused me to panic. I knew for sure that he could defeat both of them easily without our help. But still, the feeling was there then. Strange, it wasn't so in the beginning.

I stared at my hands and blades which were covered by the blood of the Titan. But it was slowly streaming away at which I furrowed my brows. Weird.

"Levi! Look! We took a Titan down all by ourselves! How's that?" Furlan shouted, proud of himself at Levi who caught up to us.

"We did it, Aniki! We did it!"

"Yeah…you guys did well."

Out from the corner of my eyes, I observed him, panting heavily. Just by looking at him panting like crazy, I could tell that he was worried as hell when he noticed us, attempting to kill one ourselves.

"Indeed.." Erwin suddenly came behind us, interrupting our moment. "….that was impressive, considering it was your first time. But you used too much gas. You need to be especially conservative out here."

I was about to retort something back at him when Levi stopped me.

"You're expecting me to take priority of my equipment over the lives of my friends?"

"You're performing a lot of unnecessary movements. Are you beginning to have doubts?"

Levi and Erwin had a silent fight by just glaring at each other.

"If you are, that'll be the death of you very soon." Erwin finished and left.

I frowned at that and stared at the others who looked after him in disbelief. Even Levi. Averting my eyes from them, I shifted them to my right hand. It trembled. Quickly, I grabbed a hold on it with my other hand, stopping its crazy trembling. I took a shaky breath and tried to get my crazy heart pounding under control. What's wrong with me all of sudden? This was seriously getting out of control.

* * *

Rain.

I never saw it. Only heard a few rumors about it int he Underground. Furlan once told me. The sky would turn dark and a lot of water drops would fall from the sky. The rain provided water for our earth, he kept our nature in safety so he was very imported and necessary to humanity.

But I saw that quite differently. Because currently, he just drenched my clothes, making them heavier plus I shivered in cold. I could barely distinguish something and was just glad to have Levi, Furlan and Isabel by my side.

The words of that Erwin guy still bothered me. If you are, that'll be the death of you very soon...

I narrowed my eyes and blended his words out, focusing on my surroundings again. It was no use to ponder about his words.

"Alright, we're starting our plan now. You're gonna stay here together while I'm gonna search for Erwin."

I bit on my lip at that, thinking it over. "Levi, I think its better if you don't separate yourself from us. Going alone is too risky and..."

"We already decided before Elea. And you agreed too. It'd be too suspicious if all four of us were to break away. I'm going alone."

"But..." I attempted again but he interrupted me.

"Faith was it right? You said that yourself."

Damn it. He was right. I couldn't take that back now. For a brief moment, I closed my eyes and took a shaky deep breath. I lost.

"Alright, go."

At that he nodded. Then he stepped forward with his horse and suddenly gave me a reassuring pat on my shoulder before riding off into the lashing rain.

Isabel was waving widely at him and Furlan stared after him faithfully as he looked over his shoulders for a moment. With a blank face, I stared after his back which was getting further and further away from us. I still had this feeling in me. And he was aware of that fact.

But he was already gone by now, swallowed by the thick fog and lashing rain.

* * *

After that our small group headed back to our squad again. It didn't take us long to find them. Upon seeing us, squad leader Fargon let an relieved sigh out. Weird, I thought he hated us.

"Prim! Church! Monstrum! Where the hell were you? Are you hurt? And why am I not seeing Levi?"

"He went to survey the terrain, sir." Furlan replied.

"Surveying the terrain?" Squad leader repeated and looked at us suspicious.

He didn't look convinced. Maybe it might had been better if we had followed Levi after all. In that case our squad would had just assumed that we were either lost or died. But it was too late anyway.

"And why did you let him surveying the terrain alone?" He continued with narrowing eyes as I kept a neutral face, revealing no emotion. But then again he may already saw through us. "I mean, you four are-

"TITANS!"

Immediately, I snapped my head towards the voice. But it was too late. The girl was grabbed by a Titan. She screamed in fear and tried to free herself as the Titan threw her into his mouth, devouring her.

"Another Titan sighted!"

"Two 15-metre Titans ahead of us!"

"No! Let me go!

"Heeelp!"

"AHHHH!"

Screams of agony filled my ears. Everything was happening too fast. Titans appeared one after another but despite that I pulled myself together and turned to Furlan and Isabel who were frozen.

"Furlan! Isabel! We have to retreat! Don't let them discover you! Make use of the fog!"

With my horse then, I stormed into the thick fog closely followed by Furlan and Isabel. Together we sprinted through the fog when suddenly a Titans face popped up right in front of me. My eyes widened. I gasped in terror and tried to avoid him by turning my horse to the other direction but it slipped through the wet ground and fell.

Panic overcame me then. My leg was stuck under my now unconscious horse. Desperately, I tried to free myself but the horse was too heavy that the Titan caught sight of me and reached his arm out to me. I never felt so much fear in my life.

"Elea!"

Furlan leaped into the air and slashed the Titans hand that was about to grab me. While he continued to deal with the Titan, Isabel sprinted towards me, trying to free me. But even with her help, my leg didn't move a bit. Covered in dirt, my eyes widened in shock. Isabel noticed that and turned around. Both of us froze when we discovered another two Titans making their way towards us. In panic, I pushed Isabel away from me.

"Isabel! You can't handle these two! Run! Leave me!"

But she didn't move and stared at the two Titans who came nearer. I stared at her back in panic and desperately yelled at her to move. "Isabel! Isabel, run! Run! NOW!"

Again, she didn't move. My heart literally went crazy in fear for her. "ISABEL!"

Slowly she turned to me and took my dirty hand into hers as she let a shaky breath out and smiled.

"Elea. You were always like a big sister to me. You're strong and wise. Beautiful and warm. Always taking care of me, saving me, protecting me. Just for once. Let me protect you too alright?"

My heart stopped. What nonsense was this girl sprouting?

Straightening herself up, she let go of my hand that I desperately tried to get a hold of. Then she climbed on her horse again and sprinted towards the two Titans as I desperately screamed after her.

No no no no! That's not really happening! SHIT!

With my two hands then, I pulled at my leg, letting out a despairing cry. Fiercely, I tugged at it again and again. My leg felt like it was gonna burst soon but I ignored it and continued tugging. Finally after a long struggle, I managed to free myself. My leg felt like it was broken but I didn't care about it at that moment. My thoughts were just on Isabels safety focused.

Finally facing the two Titans, I froze. There was Isabel, hanging across the back of the Titan with her gear as she tried to unlock herself. I watched in horror as the other Titan got a clear view on her and launched himself straight at her.

I screamed.

They crushed her.

"ISABEL! NO!"

I dropped onto my knees. Gone. She was gone. I took deep breaths, my eyes wide apart, my whole body trembling until I heard another roar. My eyes widened at that and I snapped my head towards it. Furlan!

What I discovered before my eyes, made my blood run cold. Furlan was already placed into the Titans open mouth with his upper body sticking out. At this terrifying sight, I regained my consciousness again and instantly got onto my two feet, sprinting towards them desperately. I ignored the pain in my legs and forced my legs to move even faster. I couldn't lose another person I cared for right before my eyes. "Furlan! Furlan!"

Upon hearing my voice, Furlan turned his head towards me as I reached my hand out to him in desperation while a tear escaped my eye. But he was too far away from me. He softly whispered my name with a smile and suddenly lifted his hand, waving to me in a farewell gesture like he used to do in the streets of the Underground. I screamed in horror as the Titan closed its mouth, breaking him. "FURLAN!"

Eyes widened, I immediately froze as his upper body flew right past me. I was afraid of the sight. Yet, I tilted my head into the direction his body flew. I gasped.

There he laid. Furlan with his bloody upper body in the filthy mud. With a slightly opened mouth, he stared at me with empty blue eyes. Dead.

My mouth opened but no sound came out as I held my hand over my mouth. I collapsed on the ground and slowly reached my other hand out to him. I closed his eyes with my trembling hand as the tears started to ran down my face.

Everything was so quite. A strong wind came up and parted the fog, revealing me as the only one standing. I was surrounded by a bunch of killed streaming Titans and fallen soldiers. The smell of iron-filled blood lingered in the air, so strong that I had the feeling to puke.

With a quiet whimper, I looked at my bloody dirty hands as I tried to clean them off. I didn't even know whose blood I carried on my hands. My whimpers were getting louder by the second and drew the attention of the Titan to me.

The one which killed Furlan. But I didn't care anymore. I couldn't bring him back. Neither Isabel.

I could hear the heavy movements of the Titan through the ground but didn't move a bit as it was getting nearer and nearer.

Desperately, I continued to clean the blood off my hands but it didn't disappear like I wanted. It just reminded me of the scattered lifeless bodies around me including the ones of my dead friends.

I didn't look up when the Titan picked me up. Instead, I let my eyes wander over the bloody field, seeing parts of lifeless bodies from numerous people. For the last time, I glanced at the lifeless body of Furlan and the place where Isabel was crushed. I closed my eyes and let my mind, racing back to the past, recalling our precious memories.

The day I met Isabel and protected her from getting in trouble. The times where Furlan taught me all kinds of things where I realized that he was one of the kindest person on earth. The day I almost died if it weren't for Levi to-

LEVI!

My eyes widened at the thought of him. There was a person I couldn't leave alone. Even though he might hate me now because I couldn't protect our friends, our family. I could never leave his side.

Reaching out to my blades, I sliced the fingers of the Titan in a swift move and freed myself from its grasp. Landing on the ground, I straightened myself up with shaky legs and distinguished it for the first time. Long hair, a stupid grin and a red bloodiness glint in its eyes. This was the one which killed Furlan.

"I'll kill you."

A battle cry bursted out from my throat and I charged forward. I could feel my thirst for its blood and leaped high into the sky. Blinded from my rage emotions and too agonized about the death of my friends, I lost it and flipped.

In my most rapidly speed, I sliced my blades into numerous parts of its body while twisting and spinning in the air. I repeated the same motion over and over again, enjoying the agonizing cries of the Titan. Every slice of my blades were filled with rage, pain and hatred. I sliced its hands, its arms, its face, its back, its legs and other parts again and again. Like the first time I killed an Titan together with Furlan and Isabel, I leaped myself high into the air.

A clear view of its neck appeared in front of me. Holding tightly onto my blades, I bolted down as a lone tear escaped my eye, my blades slicing deep into its neck.

Exhausted, I collapsed on the ground as the Titan I just killed, started to stream away. I just sat there in the pouring rain and stared at the ground. Tears welled up in my eyes again and mingled together with the rain and blood on my face. But they didn't fall.

Once again, everything around me was quiet. The only thing that was heard were my faintly shaky sobs and the pattering of the rain. "I'm sorry. Furlan, Isabel. I'm sorry. I couldn't save you. I couldn't save anyone. I'm so sorry."

Soon after, I heard a faintly trotting of a horse which kept coming nearer and nearer. But even then, I didn't move and whimpered the same phrase over and over again.

"I'm sorry."

The horse stopped. A soft thump was heard.

"I'm sorry."

The steps were getting heavier, heading towards me.

''I'm sorry."

And stopped.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Elea."

I heard a soft voice call out to me. I knew his voice. He already knew what happened. I could hear it in his voice. Fury, grief, horror, emptiness but mostly pain. I feared to look into his eyes, just to see the reflecting pain in his eyes even more. So I kept my eyes on the ground.

"L-Levi. I'm sorry...I-I couldn't save them. They d-died right before my eyes. I'm so sorry."

He didn't say anything and just kneeled himself down in front me as he grabbed my chin and lifted my face up. The moment my eyes met his, my heart shattered once more. There were so much emotions in his eyes reflected like never before. Slowly, he brought his hand to my face and gently wiped the few blood stains off my face.

With Levi by my side, I finally broke. I bursted out into tears and screamed. I screamed in pain and agony over my fallen friends, over the fallen soldiers, over this cruel world. Wrapping my arms around him, I cried into his shoulder as he pulled me closer to him.

* * *

The rain had stopped. The dark clouds disappeared. The sun started to rise and soon we were found by the other members of the Survey Corps. We were interrogated by Erwin Smith straightaway.

"So you two are the only survivors. How pathetic."

I couldn't said it any better. It was truly pathetic. I couldn't save anyone and was instead protected the whole time. I watched how Levi charged himself at Erwin, fuming with rage. I didn't stop him though.

"I'm going to kill you. That's why I'm here!"

He raised his blades at him, intending to kill him right here. Thereupon, Erwin grabbed his blades with his hand, not caring that it hurt him as his other hand moved into his coat. He pulled a sealed envelope out and threw it on the ground. I recognized the envelope. It was the one we were supposed to steal. I laughed in the inside. He knew it. All the time.

"These documents revealing Lobov's crimes are a fake. The real ones have likely reached Daris Zackley by now. Lobov is finished."

"You knew everything right from the start! You knew we were after you! And yet you-

I wasn't able to stand by and watch anymore so I wrapped my arms around Levi from behind before he could launch himself at Erwin again.

It wasn't Erwins fault. It was our own fault. We were the ones who chose this path and now we had to pay for it. Together with Levi, I dropped onto my knees and recalled the last moments I had with them. How Furlan whispered my name for the last time and Isabels words...

"Don't. You'll regret it. If you begin to regret, you'll dull your future decisions and let others make your choices for you. All that's left for you two then is to die. Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your next decision. We're going to continue the expeditions. I expect you both to come with me."

I always had been aware of the fact that he was a dangerous man. Sometimes I caught myself wondering about his past life. Just what made this man to the person he became today?

I stared after his back as he left us behind and got further and further away from us. I knew these scene. I experienced it multiple times in the Underground but this time was different. He was someone who could risk everything despite all the losses. He could gaze up at something I wasn't able to see.

The only thing I could saw in front of me was a soldier who dedicated his life to humanity. And therefore he won my whole respect.


	7. Chapter 7

"Titan _sighted!"_

 _"Furlan,_ _Isabel! We have to retreat!"_

 _"Isabel, run!"_

 _"Elea. You were always like a big sister to me. You're strong and wise. Beautiful and warm. Always taking care of me, saving me, protecting me. Just for once, let me protect you, too..._

 _"Furlan! Furlan!"_

 _"Elea..."_

"NO!" I screamed, my eyes torn open. It was just a dream...again...

Slowly I raised myself up. I was drenched in sweat, breathing heavily as I raked my fingers through my hair. I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to calm my heart which still pounded rapidly. Even if their death was long ago, I often dreamed about them, about their last moments, their last words.

Sighing, I pulled myself up and got out of my bed. It was already morning, the sun high in the horizon. I changed into my uniform and darted a last glance to the mirror. Then I stepped out of my room and headed down to the mess hall.

My thoughts flooded back to dream, I had. I closed my eyes for a brief moment before opening them again, a short flicker of bitterness in them. I kept on going and thrusted my thoughts aside, ignoring the dream as I nodded at the soldiers who stopped to salute me.

Finally, I reached the door and pushed it open. Immediately, I groaned innerly upon seeing the bickering between Oluo and Petra early in the morning while Eld and Gunther tried to calm them down.

Since we joined the Survey Corps, Levi became the leader of the special operation squad. Though he refused it at first because he didn't like the idea of having the full responsibility on his shoulders but unfortunately it was Erwins order to do so. Levis only condition was it to hand pick his squad by himself. Erwin didn't seem to have a problem with it and agreed. It didn't surprise me. Levi had shown great aptitude for leadership and gained the whole respect from everyone in a short space of time. He was even called humanitys strongest soldier now.

I made fun of him as soon as the news reached me. To hear Levi being called like that sounded so ridiculous at first. And his scowling face when someone called him like that, made it no better. But now everyone was used to it, including me.

I also had been given the offer to become a leader myself. But I refused and joined Levis squad. Although Erwin thought of it as a pity, he still accepted my decision and appointed me to be the second in command instead.

"With the right methods, there's nothing I can't defeat." I heard Oluo say proudly.

"Stop trying to imitate captain! You're nothing like him! How many times do I have...Oh! Good morning, Prim-san!" Petra greeted as soon as she saw me approaching, only to continue her stupid argument with Oluo again.

"Morning." I took my usual seat beside Levi who was already sipping on his morning tea as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"You're late."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm always late. Nothing new."

"Tch."

I ate my bread in silence and observed the other four. Petra and Oluo still argued while Eld and Gunther seemed to have give up on them.

In the beginning, we didn't really get along. Everything was so difficult and awkward at first, though some of them attempted to hold a conversation with me and Levi which didn't really end well I must say. But now, I quite appreciated their company though I never really showed it. The same went for them when they finally got accustomed to us over the years and our ''difficult'' ways of dealing with certain things.

All of them had their own unique characters, as well as pretty reliable skills.

Eld Jinn seemed like an responsible and firm leader with a strong sense of duty, someone who doesn't talk much but when he did, he always spoke quite bluntly and in a straightforward manner which surprised me at first.

Then Gunther Schultz. Out of the four he seems to be the most reasonable one, always serious and strict when it came to certain tasks. He was a soldier, you could count on.

And then the only girl of the four, Petra Ral. I could see in her a kind and caring person. Even if she doesn't seem to be that strong, her abilities are quite impressive. She's pretty skilled in using the 3DMG and obtained a quite high kill record of Titans.

And the last one, Oluo Bozado. The one who always finds a way to get on my fucking nerves every single time. He annoyed the shit out of me. He's self-confident, an outspoken individual and is always enjoying boasting about his own prowess. Despite that, I must admit that he's the best out of them with the highest solo kills. I would never confess it but his fast progress and fighting skills impressed me every time.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by an really annoying voice which bursted through the door, getting the attention of the whole legion as she made her way towards...great, us.

"LEEEVIII! ELEEEAAA!"

I sighed. My morning, ruined by Hanjii Zoe aka the Titan freak.

"What do you want shitty glasses." Levi looked very pissed. I guess because Hanji interrupted his precious tea time in the morning.

"I have a favor to ask you both!" She exclaimed excitedly while failing to hold her stupid grin in.

I narrowed my eyes and glanced at her suspiciously. Hanji Zoe was always a strange person. I never really got along with her and her freaking Titan obsession. In the beginning, she always made attempts to get to know me and Levi better. And every time we practically ignored her. But still she didn't stop bothering us.

Our relationship improved over the years, though both of us are still disliking her recknessless and her obsession with Titans. And if the freak asked for a favor then it definitely had to involve Titans. I scowled at that. The same like always.

"Forget it. We're not going to help you capturing a Titan on the expedition tomorrow."

"EHHH?! How did you know that Elea?! And why won't you want to help me?!"

"Remember the one time when you chased after a Titan by yourself? We had to go after you because of your stupidness and Oluo almost fucking lost his life because of your selfish action."

Even if I disliked them, I never doubted her theories she may have on Titans. They made sense. After years of working together, I knew that I could trust her in many ways. But sometimes her recklessness just took over which could turn into dangerous situations like the one in the past.

"B-But..that was an accident! And we received really relevant information by that! You remember? Ilses notebook?!"

"No." I lied.

She just cried at that and clung onto my arm while Oluo complained about the fact that his near death couldn't be just called an accident. I threw her a dirty look but she continued to fuss. I ignored her, hoping that she will give up some time when she suddenly hit her arm against Levi who subsequently spilled his tea over his neat pants.

Everyone in the mess hall gasped in shock at that, apart from me as I sensed the enjoyment and anticipation in me at this sight. I chanced a glance at Levi and fuck did he look pissed. And Hanji didn't even realize her mistake as well as Levis growing temper. Instead of that, she still clung to me while literally crying her eyes out on my goddamn precious bread.

Hanji, I hope you enjoy your punishment.

"AH! AH! W-WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LEVI?! AHH!" She screamed in pain as a furious Levi grabbed her by her hair and literally dragged her outside.

Silence filled the mess room while everyone seemed to pray for Hanjis safety. Well it wasn't her first time anyway. She'll get over it.

* * *

I couldn't believe it.

I prepared myself to train intensively one more time before the expedition tomorrow. But according to Levi cleaning was more important.

Pissed, I swept the floor with a broom as the stupid dust always made its way towards my nose which leaded to me sneezing constantly.

"Ehm...Prim-san? I think the dust wouldn't spread out everywhere if you would soften your grip a little. And don't sweep the broom too hard." Petra chuckled and scratched her head.

I followed her advice. And indeed, the dust didn't spread out anymore. I sneered at that.

"My cleaning skills are pretty bad." I grumbled at which Petra faintly chuckled.

I continued to sweep the floor, with Petra cleaning the windows. After a long time of silence, I noticed Petra being all fidgety. It seemed that she wanted to ask me something but was afraid of doing so. It wasn't the first time that I noticed her being all fidgety. I often felt her hesitantly glancing to me and how she always took a breath, attempting to start a conversation which eventually failed every time.

I pretended to be unconscious by that fact. But today she repeated her attempt to speak to me again and again. She kept banging her head against the window lightly out of frustration. Enough is enough, I guess. Though I kind of enjoyed it, seeing her all struggling and so on.

"Do you have something to say, Petra?"

My voice seemed to catch her by surprise as she stumbled a bit from her chair. Just when it seemed like she would fell, she steadied herself again and breathed in relief, and came down from her chair. Then she wheeled around and laughed nervously at me while playing with her hands behind her back. I crossed my arms and and tilted my head at her at which she gulped. "You don't have to hold back. Just ask me."

"I-I was just curious how you and Captain Levi met and how you made it into the Survey Corps. I mean, because you two are from the U-Underground...Ah! But you don't have to answer me, Prim-san! I can understand that-

"It's okay. I tell you."

"Huh?"

I lifted my broom, placing it against the wall and made my way towards the desk. Lowering myself on a chair, I made a gesture to Petra that she should sit. She nodded hesitantly and took the seat opposite from me. I grabbed the handle of the teapot in front of me and poured Petra and myself a cup of tea.

"Well, where should I begin?" I asked myself and took a sip from the tea. It was Levis favorite. The aroma of black tea, filled my mouth at which I sighed in satisfaction. I placed my cup back and looked back at Petra but she kept her eyes on the ground and chewed nervously on her lips. I narrowed my eyes at her and leaned back, crossing my legs.

"Do you fear me?"

She immediately snapped her head back up and shook her head at me. "No! Not at all, Prim-san! It's just that I feel kind of ashamed. I mean, you lived in the Underground for a really long time so you must have experience terrible things, I could never imagine. And because of me now, you have to recall everything back again."

"I don't. My memories whether good or bad are a part of me, I won't ever forget. And now shut up. I'm gonna start."

Astonished, she stared at me for a second before straightening herself. Her eyes were filled with anticipation and curiosity.

"When I was fifteen, I almost died. I was starving and couldn't move anymore. At that time, I seemed to give up on life. If it hadn't been for Levi, I would be died by now."

"So Captain Levi saved you?"

I nodded.

At that she leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with admiration for Levi. I knew that Petra held much respect for Levi. It seemed to increase even more now. I could comprehend it very well. I felt the same, just never showed it. I possessed a too high pride for that.

"He found me and convinced me to stay with him. Since that day, I was always by his side."

I kept my neutral face but my inside was filled with warmness. Still observing Petras reaction, I grabbed the handle of my teacup and took a sip again.

"And then one day, we met a noble man from the surface. He gave us a mission. Our reward was a life on the surface. Of course we accepted. But the mission consisted out of two tasks. The first one was to steal a certain document and the second was to kill Erwin."

"W-Wait what?! Erwin?! I-I mean...Commander Erwin Smith?!"

I nodded again which made her jaw drop. Her reaction amused me but then again I couldn't blame her. Anyone would react the same way.

"We planned to let the Survey Corps capture us after making a scene in the Underground. And it worked. We were captured and to our luck, Erwin was among them. But instead of being in suspension, he offered us to join the Survey Corps. And that's how we got here."

"Then he just let you into the Survey Corps? Just like that? What happened afterwards? I mean your mission and...and...arghh, I can't keep up anymore!" She whined and griped her head.

"If I'm not mistaken, you just asked me how we met and how we got into the Survey Corps, right?" I practically teased her and brought my teacup back to my lips, drinking the rest of it before looking at Petra again.

Fidgety, she sat in her chair, struggling to find the right words. In the end, she just stuttered the whole time. I placed my cup back to the table and reached my hand out to her, flicking her forward lightly which caught her by surprise.

"I tell you some other time, I guess. It's late. You should go to bed. Tomorrow is the expedition, after all."

So I got up and was about to leave, already stepping through the door when she suddenly stopped me. "Prim-san!"

I halted and listened to her words without turning around. "I really can't imagine how much misery you faced in your life but even so, you're still standing right in front of me. I respect that. Thank you very much for sharing your past with me. I really appreciate it." She bowed.

I didn't say anything at that and left. My face filled with bitterness as I recalled the past once again. Still, I kept moving forward.


	8. Chapter 8

"THREE MINUTES UNTIL THE GATE IS OPEN!"

I roamed my eyes over the crowd of people that surrounded us. Like always, most people stared at us in a way as if everything would be pointless. Many would judge and disapprove our way of handling, be it outside or inside the walls. They couldn't comprehend it, how we could go outside, fight Titans and then come back with a huge number of losses instead of a firm victory.

I just ignored the stares even if I felt innerly otherwise. Soldiers of the Survey Corps had their own reasons to join us and these choices should be respected and not criticized. Then again, I think it was normal to have such thought in their place. They weren't a part of the Survey Corps so they couldn't comprehend the things we tried to accomplish. I couldn't blame them for judging like that. Still, it didn't sit with me. Everything was just a pain in the ass.

"Look! Look! It's the Survey Corps! They're so cool! I want to join!"

"Don't you even dare to think about this!"

I observed a boy who was scolded by his mother. At that, the boy just groaned and rolled his eyes until his eyes stopped at mine. As soon as he realized that I was actually staring at them, his eyes immediately turned bright. His mother noticed this and gasped. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away but he just whined at that and struggled against her grasp while waving his hand excitedly at me.

I turned my head back to the front without giving a reaction, blinding the boy and his mother out as I kept the boys words in my head. He wasn't even nearly ten years old and already wished to join the Survey Corps. Were kids nowadays like that? I narrowed my eyes. Rather than being astonished by the boy's braveness, I felt an uneasiness for the child's future.

My thoughts stopped all at once as I heard the gate open. I focused again and already felt the excitement within me to finally face the outside world again. The last expedition was a month ago. This was going to be my 55th expedition.

"Hey, hey! Levi!"

I glanced to side, just to see Hanji annoying the shit out of Levi again. I raised my eyebrows at his scowling face which was directed to the clueless Hanji.

"Focus shitty glasses."

And she laughed.

"Imagine how amazing it would be if I could finally get a Titan in my hands today. Ahhh, just thinking about it makes my mouth watering!" She exclaimed with shining eyes, clearly ignoring his words. And I swear that a bit drool actually came out of her stupid mouth. Disgusting.

"You're distracting the people with your blabber, Hanji. So shut up." I uttered, deciding to eventuelly help Levi. I rolled my eyes as she looked at me with a crestfallen face while our squad behind us, looked at her in a weirdly way. Before she could even open her mouth again, Erwins words stopped her as they echoed over the crowd, getting the attention of everyone.

"TODAY MANKIND WILL ADVANCE ONCE AGAIN! I SWEAR THAT ONE DAY THE RESULT OF OUR EFFORTS WILL BE ANSWERED WITH THE GLORY OF MANKIND, THE FREEDOM AND OUR DURABLE PEACE! NOW, SHOW US WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF! FORWARD!"

Thereupon, everyone cried out and started to follow Erwin towards the gate, as well as me and Levi with our squad in the front, right behind Erwin.

As soon as I came through the gate, the beauty of the outside world welcomed me once again. I took a deep breath and inhaled the air of freedom.

* * *

Before every battle, people would talk about love, not death.

Before that, all the soldiers would take the last moment to say goodbye to their families and beloved ones. And really **all** soldiers would promise that they will come back. For a moment, they pushed their doubt away of not being able to come back, just so to relieve their families from burdens and worries. The same thing goes for the families. They would firmly believe in their sons or daughters words and would desperately cling on that only promise, that they will return to their side no matter what. But fate seemed to have other thoughts.

It was the moment I hated the most.

You know, what will come afterwards if a soldier were to fall in a battle? I knew it all too well. Someone had to tell their families. This job was automatically assigned to the higher ranks, so including me.

The moment we returned and came through the gates, I could already see numerous people, stretching their necks while their eyes searched through the crowd. They looked alarmed. And then they spotted me.

Slowly, they approached me with a small forced smile. But I could sense their anxiety and growing panic, they fumbled around with their hands, their eyes still scanned every soldiers face despite talking to me, still with such a forced smile on their face. And their first words were... _Excuse me, miss. I can't seem to find my son. Can you tell me where I can find him? His name is..._

Already with this sentence, I knew that they convinced themselves that their sons returned ,too. They wouldn't even dare to think about an other outcome. I was their only hope. And I crashed it.

Their eyes immediately stopped scanning the crowd, their whole attention on me now as they stared at me with shocked eyes. There was a long pause. And then they would laugh it up, telling me to stop joking. But my serious mien showed otherwise and the first tears started to roll down their faces as they were aghast and shook their heads, always repeating to themselves that it wasn't true. Then they grabbed me by my shoulders, shaking them as they pleaded me to tell them that it was a lie. But I didn't and remained silent. The truth struck into their faces and they fell to their knees as they cried out for their loved ones. They repeated it over and over again that it wasn't true, that they promised to come back, that it was just a nightmare. But this was reality.

And finally they broke.

I couldn't do anything, just watching them breaking apart as they lost another important person in their life. Some would scream at me that it was my fault, why I couldn't protect them, why it had to be them why not others. I never answered, keeping my silence. But then again, I never had one.

In the end, it was always the same. Another broken family. Another broken promise. Another broken life.

And still, it didn't seem to stop. As if it would never stop. Wandering around in the middle of nowhere, that's how it felt everyday. Today wasn't different.

Half of the day wasn't even over yet and we already lost 11 other soldiers.

Among them were two I was acquainted with. I wasn't really close with them. Yet, they were killed right in front of my eyes. I had to watch them being teared apart and devoured by Titans. Their blood splattered all over the place.

It was a sight, I faced on every single expedition and it never stopped. One soldier after another, again and again. They always screamed the same thing. Help me. I don't want to die.

These moments always went like slow motion. Their eyes were filled with tears that spilled down their face. I could see their underlip trembling as they uttered their last words. Their face showed nothing else beside despair. And then they let out the most terrible scream you could ever hear...

"Prim-san?"

"Huh?" I blinked as I felt someone tipping my shoulder. I turned around, Eld Jinn in front of me.

"The horses are ready and the supplies were also being taken care of and...ehm..did I interrupt your thoughts?"

I quickly regained myself again. "No, don't bother. Since everything was being taken care of, you and the others can rest."

"Yes, sir!" I turned around, wanting to go the place where injured soldiers were being treated when Eld halted me again. "One more thing, Prim-San!"

"What is it?"

"Captain Levi wants to see you immediately."

I nodded at that and instead made my way to the commander station where Levi must be since he was the squad leader of our squad. I didn't have to be there because I was just second in command, which was good. These meetings and responsibilities as a leader were just a pain.

Poor Levi had to do so much work. When he didn't have to attend meetings or train the squad, he just sat in his room and did paper work. Every single day.

I didn't know how he was able to manage that. But then again, it was Levi. If it were me, I could never handle that. Good thing that I declined the offer of being a squad leader myself.

I continued my way towards the big tent where the meeting was being held as a sudden memory randomly crossed my mind. I laughed out. At that time, Levi was like so mad and pissed at me. One day, I creeped into Levis room with dirty boots full of mud. I left thousand traces of mud behind on his shiny floor and even decided to jump on his bed, ruining his white sheets. I definitely had my fun. And the fun turned even more fun as Levi stepped into the room and spotted me on his precious bed, jumping around like a little kid. His face was the hilarious thing one soldier could ever see. I instantly bursted out laughing that I actually had a hard time to stop.

Well, the outcome afterwards wasn't so pretty. Let's just say that no one probably wants to be chased down by a fuming Levi who kept barking some cursing words while launching many many freaking threats at me.

Somehow, this action made a round in the Survey Corps and Levi and I were immediately top 1 subject matter in the whole legion. After that, I gained strangely enough a deference and the reputation as the only one who could actually stand up against Levi without backing down.

But this sure had some repercussions. My fun ended abruptly at that. Because Levi gave me the freaking punishment to clean all the stairways with a toothbrush. With a goddamn fucking toothbrush!

But I didn't ever regret that action. He deserved it for sure. And in then end, it was hella hilarious.

"Why are you grinning like an idiot?"

"Just remembered something I did in your room, back then. Especially your neatly bed." I smirked and turned, facing him. He instantly knew what I meant and glared at me with such sinister eyes. Then he took a dangerous step towards me but I just huffed and crossed my arms, taking a step forward myself. "Don't give me that glare, Levi. It was your own fucking fault. If you hadn't flushed my fishies down this damn toilet, then it would never have happened!"

"I couldn't give a shit about your ugly fishes, Elea. You had like about 20 glasses filled with these dirty things in your room. And the glasses were so disgustingly dirty too, especially the water. They would have died anyway because you weren't able to clean the glasses or change the dirty water just for once. But that's just being you, the same lazy shit as always."

"W-Wha..That's not true! They wouldn't have died just because of a little bit dirt! And don't you dare call them ugly." I growled. Levi was about to retort something back when he suddenly sighed out of frustration and backed away.

"I don't have time for your bullshit. I need you to take care of our squad so you're in command now."

I frowned at that and instantly turned serious again. "Why?"

"One of the squads lost their horses in the battle so they still didn't return back. Erwin gave me the assignment to bring them back since they aren't far from here." He explained as he prepared his horse for the rescue with many other horses behind him, probably for the other soldiers.

"I see. Who's coming along with you?"

"No one."

I nodded and stared contemplatively on the ground, thinking about the consequences if we were to lose a whole squad, but stopped abruptly as I registered the words he said.

"W-What?"

"I'm not repeating it again. Stay here and look out for the squad." Then he climbed up his horse but before he could even sat down, I quickly grabbed his shoulder and yanked him down again. And immediately, I received his annoyed glare as he pushed me away and snarled. "Stop this shit. The longer I stay here, the faster the others might be in danger. So back off."

But I didn't stop and grabbed him again by his hand this time. "N-No.."

He gave me a hard stare. He knew from the beginning that I would react that way. "Let go, Elea...That's an order."

I narrowed my eyes at him and clenched his hand harder in mine. I hated it when he said that sentence. It always showed the position in which we stood. I could never oppose it. And he was aware of that.

Slowly, I let go of his warm hand, the coldness instantly replacing it. I watched him with bitterness, climbing on his horse again as he safely sat down. Then he turned to me again, staring at me for a bit longer before he sprinted away, the horses following him. I watched his back until it disappeared. I could swear that I saw a flash of guilt in his eyes. ...

I shook my head at that and made my towards our squad, cursing Erwin instead in my mind for letting Levi surveying the Titans territory alone. My worry grew. What was Erwin even thinking again, letting Levi go alone. Even if they weren't far from here, it still could be dangerous regardless of whether he was being humanity strongest soldier or whatever thing. I never understood Erwins decisions or mainly his intentions.

Quickly, I composed myself again as I spotted my squad near the main supplies, not letting them sense my uneasiness.

"Prim-san!" Petra smiled as she spotted me first.

I nodded at them. "Levi's not here for the moment so I'm in command now."

They looked at me confused and wanted to ask where he was when I narrowed my eyes at them. "You don't need to know where."

They gulped and nodded quickly as they stared at each other, not knowing what to do or what to say now with me being present. I ignored the sudden awkwardness and laid myself on the grass, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the warm sun rays on my body. After a few minutes of silence, they started talking again in a shush mutter, trying not to disturb me. But that didn't last long as they started to argue about who had the highest Titan kills between them. But it didn't disturb me. It actually put me at ease to see them bickering around about Titan kills instead of thinking about the possibility to be killed by them like most soldiers would do.

A small smile made it onto my face as I heard Oluo complaining about Eld to let him go as he boasted around that he will kill every Titan that dared to step onto his way. But it slowly disappeared again as my thoughts wandered back to Levi. Worry and restlessness filled me again and I sighed. I really need a distraction.

I didn't move from my position and continued to lay in the grass with my arms behind my head, trying to not think about Levi and instead concentrated on the still on going bickering between my squad when suddenly a loud voice screamed in alarm.

"TITANS! TITANS INCOMING!"

I ripped my eyes open and immediately was on both my feet as I looked around me frantically. The others did the same, the panic and fear clearly in their eyes. But I didn't found any Titans until a sudden shaking came from the ground followed by a loud boom.

And there. It was still far away but I could already see the first Titan emerging from the forest, a huge ugly grin on his face. We were all frozen when Erwins loud voice started to arouse us from our state. He quickly gave instructions and every soldier instantly moved to take care of the supplies, to bring the injured ones into safety or to prepare for the upcoming battle. Many soldiers jumped on their horses, making their way to the emerging Titans.

That sure wasn't the distraction I wanted to have.

I quickly turned around. My squad was already waiting for my instructions.

"Oluo and Petra, you go to the front lines! Eld and Gunther, you're coming with me. We're staying in the back line!"

"YES,SIR!"

With our gears then, we jumped on the horses and split up. I sprinted to the back line, Eld and Gunther behind me, and stopped. Breathing out, I slowly brought my highest concentration upon me as my eyes observed the front line with caution. My eyes searched for Oluo and Petra in the battle field. A feeling of relief washed over me as I found them fighting along side, backing each other up. They seemed to be fine and my eyes wandered to other soldiers.

The screams and cries of agony filled my ears. The blood already lingered in the air. My hands clenched into a fist at the sight of many soldiers who were caught by the hands of Titans as they cried out in fear that I could even hear it from the back line. They tried to wring themselves out, their blades moving aimlessly around because of their panic and fear. My eyes widened when one of them was thrown into the air, his cries abruptly stopped as the Titan leaped for him and landed with a loud boom. The soldier gone.

Everyone in the backline was paralyzed by fear. Even me, but I wouldn't let it show it or hence let anyone sense it. It couldn't break my wall of concentration and self control. If I would let these negative emotions take over me, then I was declared to be died soon. That I knew for sure.

Suddenly the soldiers started to flinch alongside me. My eyes twitched as the first Titan managed to break through the line, moving rapidly towards us as other Titans followed suit, breaking through the line as well. Slowly, I reached for my blades while other soldiers already moved forward. My body waited for the best moment to attack as my eyes followed every move the Titans made. Carefully, I raised my hand up, signaling Eld and Gunther not to attack yet as I spoke in a soft firm voice.

"Remember our training, 3-men-attack. Stay in line, don't break out of it. Most of all, don't fight alone because if you do, there will be a high chance that you will end up dead." I reminded them. I didn't turn around, I knew that they understood me. And I trusted them, them and their abilities. If you can't believe in someone, in their abilities and support, and this in a battle such at that, then don't even think about surviving. Because formation and especially teamwork are the one essential things in a battle.

"NOW!"

At my command, Eld and Gunther darted forward from both sides with me in the middle behind them, following along. I observed Eld und Gunther aiming for the two bigger Titans in front of us. Eld settled for the right one and Gunther for the left one. They changed their directions with the intention of attacking from the side out where the Titans wouldn't notice them.

Both Titans noticed me instead and moved towards me, their attention only on me now. I smirked. Exactly what I wanted. I carefully started to raise myself up, standing on my horse in position as I tried to maintain my balance while my horse kept sprinting forward. Suddenly both of them started to fall, both of their heads were about to collide with each other. That was my cue.

I nodded at Eld and Gunther who were responsible for their fall and aimed my hooks on a thick branch of one of the few trees out here. I jumped from my horse and swung myself around the tree, my hooks still on the branch as I made a whole turn around the tree. Then I broke my hooks from the branch as I swung myself behind the Titans, using the dynamic to my advantage. Their heads collided with each other and I quickly darted my hooks on one of the necks, cutting both necks in turn with my blades in a swift move.

Both of them fell on the ground, starting to stream away as I landed on the ground, too. Eld and Gunther instantly moved towards me with my horse. They smiled in triumph.

"Well done." I praised them. They seemed happy about it and beamed. But it wasn't over yet. I quickly scanned our surroundings. There weren't many Titans anymore, just a few which the others seemed to handle good. I also didn't notice any losses of our soldiers, just a few injured which was good and made me somehow feel proud.

So I turned around and shifted my eyes to the frontline. "No way..."

It was the total opposite. There weren't many Titans as before but surely many fallen soldiers and injured ones who couldn't fight back anymore. Their numbers shrieked one by one and the Titans started to prevail. Then I spotted Oluo und Petra. My eyes widened at that side. They were surrounded by many gigantic Titans. The blood sticking on their clothes and skin as they tried to defend themselves, the exhaustion clearly visible in their moves.

They wouldn't survive like that. And they were aware of that, particularly Oluo. I could see it in his moves. The numbers of Titans surrounding him and Petra made him lose his concentration as he tried to defend himself while keeping an eye out for Petra who seemed to struggle as well. He wanted to protect her.

I gritted my teeth and turned around, catching the eye of Gunther. He instantly knew what I thought. "Go, Prim-san. We have everything in control here."

Nodding, I quickly jumped on my horse and sprinted towards the front line. The numbers of soldiers seemed to decrease even more in the front line. With that, I tried to move even faster, my eyes only focused on both of my squad members. I had to reach them in time. They were in my squad, I couldn't let them down now. I couldn't let Levi down who gave me the command, who entrusted me the whole squad. They were my responsibility now. My highest priority.

This thoughts abruptly stopped though as Oluo started to move towards three Titans without caution. My eyes widened at that. He was losing his self control, the panic starting to take over. Petra also noticed this and yelled at him but he didn't even seem to realize her words. If he continued this, he will end up died. This idiot!

With that, I fired my hooks on a tree and leaped myself forward, my eyes firmly on Oluo directed. For now, he managed to fight back. I just hoped that I will reach both of them in time.

But things didn't always work the way, you wanted them to...

"OLUO!" Petra screamed and I gasped. With terrified eyes, I stared at the sight of Oluo. He was caught by a hand and couldn't free himself from the Titans grip.

"OLUO, NO!" Petra screamed once more as she tried to reach him but one of the Titans blocked her way towards him, giving her no choice as to fight the Titan instead. Oluo suddenly let out a terrible scream. He cried out of pain, the Titan appeared to tighten his hold on Oluo. I started to push myself even harder at that, increasing my speed. I was aware of the fact that I was using too much gas but I couldn't let this idiot get himself killed.

There wasn't much between us anymore, I could still make it. The Titan suddenly started to raise his hand towards its mouth. Shit!

My eyes glanced to Oluo. But he didn't move anymore? No...he dared to close his damn eyes?! This little piece of shit, how dare he give up. Just you wait, Oluo...

Breathing heavily, I whirled myself towards him in a rapidly speed while dodging many Titans who tried to grab a hold on me. But I managed to overcome them. Reaching for my blades, I darted past the last few Titans and finally reached the person I wanted to save. With a tightly grip on my blades, I swung them and sliced them deep into the Titans hand, cutting it entirely.

The hand fell. I was still in the air. Oluo, still in this hand, opened his eyes and caught sight of me, shocked.

And his shocked eyes were the last thing I saw before I was suddenly hit by a Titans hand.


End file.
